At NiSHA, we understand the pain of losing a pet, and we know that the pain is not always honored or treated with as much respect as when we lose a human friend or family member. However, society is slowly recognizing that the loss of a pet can be as devastating, and sometimes more so, as when one loses a human friend. 

We have put together a few of our favorite resources, from information on grief to meaningful mementos, to help you grieve, honor, and remember your friend. 

Rituals and Services 

After you lose a pet, when the time feels right, you might choose to create a ceremony or participate in an activity to honor the depth of your feelings for your lost pet. There is no one right way to memorialize your friend. And no right time. Remember that it needs to be right for YOU. Here are some simple ideas (and more ideas in the links section below):

• Plant a garden or tree that you will see grow and flourish every year.
• Write an obituary for your pet. Publish it on social media or in your local paper.
• Have a funeral or other kind of service. Invite family and friends, including any animal friends, if appropriate.
• Make a donation to a nonprofit in your pet’s memory.
• Volunteer with a shelter or other animal welfare organization to spend time with animals in need.
• Adopt a pet if and when you are ready. It’s important to note that some people adopt immediately. Others wait longer, and still other people can’t face the heartbreak of losing another pet. All of these options are OK!

Grief

Reading up on grieving can help you feel less anxious. Symptoms of grief are varied and unbelievably broad! Knowing that what you are feeling is normal can take one stressor off your plate.

• There may be stages to your grief, but they will be unique to you.
• You may go through those stages in a straight line, a spiral, or not at all!
• Talk to friends and family about what you are feeling, but only if you think they will understand the depth of your grief for your pet. You want to avoid being shamed for feeling so heartbroken about losing your animal companion.
• Get therapy if you feel you aren’t coping as well as you want to be.
• Join a pet loss support group.
• If therapy or groups are not offered in your area, go online and check out chat rooms or virtual therapy.

Pet Grief

Reading up on grief is important. But reading up on the special challenges of losing an animal companion can also be beneficial, for several reasons:

• The process can feel different than if you lose a human. This can be because our daily routine is now different, the constant companionship is missing, or the unconditional acceptance your pet brought to your life is gone.
• Your grief may go unnoticed or be devalued by others, because “it was just a” cat or dog or rabbit or. . . .
• Your grief may be more intense, because you spent a lot of time with your pet or because your pet may have been more like a child to you.

Mementos
For some, having a tangible keepsake can keep our pet close to our hearts. For others, it can be a daily reminder they don’t have the heart to look at each day. Do what is right for you.

• Buy or make a special box for your pet’s ashes.
• Create a shadow box of your pet’s pictures, ID tags, clothing, toys or other personal items.
• Have a stone engraved with your pet’s name and place it in a garden or on your patio.
• Buy or create a piece of jewelry or other keepsake in the form of your pet’s paw print, nose print, or that contains your pet’s ashes, or your pet’s name or image.

Links to More Information on the Loss of a Pet

Grief:

If you live on Nantucket and would like to talk to a professional, Fairwinds offers counseling. 
  www.fairwindscenter.org
 
A website put together by mental health professionals, “What’s Your Grief” offers down- to-earth, wide-ranging, non-judgmental information about what YOU might be feeling. This site also offers a place to share your own grief.

https://whatsyourgrief.com

Pet Grief: 
We love this comprehensive guide on coping after the loss of a pet. So many good tips you might not think of! 

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-losing-a-pet.htm

Mementos:

This website covers coping tips, other resources, and ideas for mementos.
  https://www.pawsitivememories.net/grief-and-healing-guide